I'm sitting here telling myself, "I'm not a needy hysterical woman, and I haven't been. I'm not expecting more than I deserve when I want him to pay attention to me, and I haven't been. I was not being an irrational headcase when I demanded that he recognize that some of the relationship problems were his, some of them were mine, and some of them were both of ours."

I didn't even realize until recently that I was actually starting to doubt... starting to think that some of his statements about me were true. And in doing so, I made them true. We have the power to be who we want ourselves to be, and when we envision ourselves powerless and weak, we can become so.

When we envision ourselves bright and true, we can become so. It's not easy when you've got a strong mental image of yourself as a basketcase, though. :-P

And I still haven't figured out where I'm going to move to. But I'm getting out of this relationship, and I'm getting out of this apartment complex, and it's all going to be fine. Real soon now.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}