five things: continua

[sab]

Yeah, this was definitely a good way to jumpstart writing.

For runpunkrun

Five Seven Lies About House That Wilson Has Told

1. "I am not in love with Gregory House."

2. "He's a prima donna and he's not worth the trouble."

3. "I'm going to be late tonight, honey, I'm sorry. House needs me."

4. "Face it: you need me."

5. "He's going to pay me back."

6. "Yeah, he's got a motorcycle now. That is beyond lame."

7. "He really is a good friend when he has to be."



For fourteenlines

Five Social Situations That Steve Tries To Keep Jeff From At All Costs

1. Meeting one of Patrick's new girls. If they meet Jeff on a first date, they have a tendency not to come back for a second one, and while that, on occasion, is the idea, Patrick tends to like the opportunity to actually have sex with said women before sending them packing, and if he can't, he finds ways to blame Steve. Jeff is allowed to come on second dates, of course. And encouraged to come along if Patrick can't shake the biddy by date number three.

2. The break room at Susan's office. Steve's been known to share a biccie and some coffee with Susan's coworkers; he and that bloke Gideon even took in a cricket match together. But apparently Jeff makes Steve's IQ drop a good fifty points, and Susan's forbade him from letting it happen anywhere her boss might see. If Jeff comes in, Steve's been known to hide behind the break room sofa, and one time he found five quid back there.

3. Car-rental offices. Jeff always asks for the rocket pack addition, the inflatable carpool lady, and cup holders big enough to fit his shoes in. When they went to see the United they ended up walking nearly thirty miles.

4. Sushi restaurants. Jeff tends to shout "cunnilingus!" at the Japanese chefs, and that makes Steve nervous, because they have very sharp knives.

5. Airports, but that's less Steve's doing and more because of the restraining order from Virgin and a trolley dolly who's threatened to taser Jeff if she catches him in her terminal again, as last time he spent an hour lying on the luggage conveyor belt for a revolving view up the skirts of two hundred passengers.



Requests still taken here.

But the rest will be writ tomorrow, or in the wee hours, because I need to work on Bones now.

Comments

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

*cracks up* Oh, God, every single last one of those is SO. TRUE. (!)

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

I miss Jeff so much. *sniff* I missed Jeff when wacky cousin Oliver came! *re-sniff*

I am also very very pleased at my newfound ability to use "trolley dolly" in context. I am become colonial!

[sloganeer.livejournal.com]

oh, jeff.

there must be jeff/steve, right? i've never looked.

"I know you're in there. I can hear you caring."

[runpunkrun]

I just caught the House where Wilson's following House around being a big girl's blouse about the fact House kissed Stacy. And because I was on the lookout it seems like a good half of everything Wilson says about House is a lie.

[marinwood.livejournal.com]

Jeff tends to shout "cunnilingus!" at the Japanese chefs

Laughed so hard at that bit tears came out my eyes~!