I asked him if he thought all our relationship problems would be solved if I were "more reliable," which is to say, woke up earlier, returned phone calls promptly, showed up on time. He said yes, he believed that would solve everything.
But that's not true. He may even believe it, but it's not true. Even if you were "reliable" - even if you woke up earlier, returned calls promptly, were on time and did other wonderful career-boosting things to boot, he wouldn't be okay with himself and he'd find something new that was wrong with you. The only way your relationship problems would be solved is if he came to terms with you the way you are. Not only would that solve things for him, it would solve them for you.
It sounds convenient for him to blame his problems with his career on your lack of reliability. If he were genuinely worried about you, he wouldn't blame you for bringing him down, even if, say, what he really meant was "I'm worried about you and it's distracting me. Stop it." (See how crazy that sounds?)
I've avoided commenting on this thus far, but I think the others are right. Get out, even though it hurts.
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Date: 2003-10-16 03:40 pm (UTC)But that's not true. He may even believe it, but it's not true. Even if you were "reliable" - even if you woke up earlier, returned calls promptly, were on time and did other wonderful career-boosting things to boot, he wouldn't be okay with himself and he'd find something new that was wrong with you. The only way your relationship problems would be solved is if he came to terms with you the way you are. Not only would that solve things for him, it would solve them for you.
It sounds convenient for him to blame his problems with his career on your lack of reliability. If he were genuinely worried about you, he wouldn't blame you for bringing him down, even if, say, what he really meant was "I'm worried about you and it's distracting me. Stop it." (See how crazy that sounds?)
I've avoided commenting on this thus far, but I think the others are right. Get out, even though it hurts.