sab

Okay.

So I work on the 42nd floor and I had this cold last week where my sinuses were all clogged up and anyway, so, Friday, or something, I take the bullet-train elevator up here, and my ears always pop in the elevator, but Friday they didn't pop, they just clogged, and stayed clogged.

I rode the elevator several times more trying to equalize the pressure and get 'em to pop, no dice.

I suppose a slow leak over the weekend brought my ears back to their normal state, but there's been no satisfying "I can hear!" pop, and mostly I still felt like my head was encased in pudding.

Now, of course, it's Monday, and this morning, somewhere shooting past the 35th floor, my ears seized up again, and haven't popped since.

I have yawned.
I have chewed gum. (This just irritates my TMJ)
I have clicked my jaw (for no reason, largely to continue exacerbating my TMJ)
I have held my nose and exhaled. (Resulting in air shooting forth from my eyes, but not my ears.)

Please. Home-based remedies, invasive surgery, voodoo rituals, all welcomed, because DUDE I CAN'T HEAR and it's all foggy up here in my head like I'm wearing a, a, a PUMPKIN or something and anyway I have to get back to work but PLEASE someone help me figure out how to get my ears to pop, PLEASE?