for the folks at home

if you're following our saga from your living rooms, here's Saturday's stitchcam picture, complete with a tiny pene lurking in the shadows.

( curiouser and swollener )

life imitates TV

in case I forgot what happened in May, or is it June? But anyway I saw some of those movies; I heard some of those songs.

on a scale of one to five chickens...

Spiderman: wasn't wild about it. Kirsten Dunst is now and will always be a hottie and I adore her. The movie itself barely kept my interest, on the other hand, and it wasn't comic-booky enough to get away with the hokey dialogue, at the same time wasn't honest enough to get away with the sentimentality. Then again, contrary to the common vein, I sorta dug Mary Jane's final speech. two chickens

Star Wars: AOTC: totally dug it. Epic, and I wasn't bored at all. Disappointed in Natalie Portman (didn't she used to be able to act?) but I thought Hayden Christensen pulled off his Mark-Hamill-school-of-acting charade right fine. He did the job, no more no less. Yoda kicked some ass. The (Maori?) Fett family was terrific, and Ewan MacGregor, as always, aimed to charm. Sure, it lacked the kick and the humor of the original trilogy, but if you look at it as part of the Episode I family instead, AOTC was a shining star. Christopher Lee interrogating Ewen was my favorite -- was a nice take on the good/evil splay Star Wars is famous for. For the first time, we end up on the side of the Bad Guys, and we hardly know it. But let me ask you this: why, in the original Star Wars, does C-3PO not remember that he's worked for Owen Lars before? Why do Lars and Beru not remember Threepio? These are the things that keep me up nights. four chickens

About a Boy: might well be the finest movie ever made. Or not. But dear sweet fancy Moses, ain't never felt so good at a feel-good flick, at least, not since "Notting Hill." Hugh Grant can babysit my kid any time. Awesome, awesome movie. five chickens!

Murder by Numbers: you know, charm and sex appeal's getting younger every day. Ryan Gosling had me at hello, and the whole boy thing was elegantly done, evil and twisty. Sure, there's something to be said about the homophobia of it all, but basically what you've got here is the guy version of "Heavenly Creatures," and that one made critics swoon. Loved it with girls, loved it not quite as much with the boys here, but Ryan Gosling, man. Evil. Charming. Brilliant. Bored. Right up my alley. Oh yeah, and Sandra Bullock and Ben Chaplin were in the movie too, but I think I was writing Farscape fic in my head whenever they were on screen. three chickens

Monsoon Wedding: cracked me up. Brilliant. four chickens

Enigma: I feel a little gypped! Seeing as I was promised genius, and code-breaking, and twisty clever problem solving. And instead I got "The Love Song of the Frumpy" which was all fine and good, but I'd've liked more brains and less heartstrings. Still, Dougray Scott had a marvelous turn as the grimy broken genius, and Kate Winslet has found a new home as a hausfrau. And Saffron Burrows is the sexiest dead chick I've ever seen. four chickens

she's a multimedia whore, listening to music too. I've somehow rediscovered Rickie Lee Jones' Naked Songs and it's fast bubbled back to the top of my desert island list. I've been an RLJ fan since way back in the day, got almost all her albums, but for some reason I'd forgotten to listen to this live acoustic one for a while. Seriously, if it had "Satellites" and "On Saturday Afternoons in 1963" on it it would be perfect. As is, pretty damned close.

I went to Virgin and asked for a non-choral version of Beethoven's 9th. I want "Ode to Joy" without singing. I want it, like, on a solo cello or something. Some weird mournful string interpretation. You'd think that sort of thing would exist, but I couldn't find it. Got me some Bela Fleck instead, so it wasn't a total bust.

Now that I'm a working girl TV starts earlier for me, but I still make it up till 2:00 am weeknights, because Homicide:LOTS is on CourtTV from 1-2. We're in the last season, post-Luther, post-Junior Bunk, pre-Georgia Ray, capturewise. I miss Pembleton but I'd forgotten how much I liked Ballard and Falsone. Plus, if I hang out long enough, we'll be comin' around again.

Speaking of which, Bravo's been showing Heartburn a lot. Damn good movie.