five things: green wing
Sep. 1st, 2006 08:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabFive Things Guy Secretan Doesn't Like About Himself, for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mazily
1. The fact that bloody Zurich is a bloody bustling metropolis rich in art and culture, music and cuisine and poetry, and nobody bloody cares because it's in bloody Switzerland and they're all too bloody busy bloody skiing.
2. Hair this good doesn't come easily. He lost a really, no, seriously, really fucking hot bird once because she woke up when he was still under his heating lamp, curlers in and reading Hello! She didn't even say anything, just shoved her thong in her back pocket and called a cab from the sidewalk.
3. Secretly? He's a giant bleeding poofter. Not in the way that he wants to be drilled up the bum, except maybe by Mac, but more in that he's a fucking pansy who just pretends to have balls because he pretended once, a long time ago, and Charlotte'd smacked him in the jaw and it was the best sex he'd ever had. Sometimes he wishes he could find a nice girl who likes Chinese takeaway and old repeats of Blackadder, but instead he finds himself shopping for leopard-print satin pants far more often than one would suspect a reasonable man in his thirties would require new pants.
4. He's always wished he'd found a way to work a weighted cricket bat into Guyball. Now every time he tries to bring his out for the battering round, some git tags him for a foul and he's always stuck sitting the third quarter out from the bench.
5. Left nut's bigger than the right.
*
Requests taken here!
mazily1. The fact that bloody Zurich is a bloody bustling metropolis rich in art and culture, music and cuisine and poetry, and nobody bloody cares because it's in bloody Switzerland and they're all too bloody busy bloody skiing.
2. Hair this good doesn't come easily. He lost a really, no, seriously, really fucking hot bird once because she woke up when he was still under his heating lamp, curlers in and reading Hello! She didn't even say anything, just shoved her thong in her back pocket and called a cab from the sidewalk.
3. Secretly? He's a giant bleeding poofter. Not in the way that he wants to be drilled up the bum, except maybe by Mac, but more in that he's a fucking pansy who just pretends to have balls because he pretended once, a long time ago, and Charlotte'd smacked him in the jaw and it was the best sex he'd ever had. Sometimes he wishes he could find a nice girl who likes Chinese takeaway and old repeats of Blackadder, but instead he finds himself shopping for leopard-print satin pants far more often than one would suspect a reasonable man in his thirties would require new pants.
4. He's always wished he'd found a way to work a weighted cricket bat into Guyball. Now every time he tries to bring his out for the battering round, some git tags him for a foul and he's always stuck sitting the third quarter out from the bench.
5. Left nut's bigger than the right.
*
Requests taken here!
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:11 am (UTC)I mean, I can't even pick a favorite ("#2?", I said, but then I read #3. "#3?" I asked, but then I read #5) (if I were forced to choose, I, being the obvious sort, would probably go with #3, if only for the leopard-print satin pants). That's how strong my love is.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:17 am (UTC)& thanks, you give good prompt.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:24 am (UTC)Hee!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:29 am (UTC)Dude, sniggering is GREAT PRAISE! Please feel free to snigger in my general direction at any time.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 05:41 am (UTC)I did not include the, um, obvious thing Guy hates about himself, for, um, obvious reasons. *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-02 05:42 am (UTC)Godspeed in hell, also. GO GIRL GO.