torchwood: TV's version of fanfiction.net

[sab]

Hi, I like that ask-me-a-question meme, except for the fact that you are of course welcome to ask me questions any day of the week, little soldiers! And so, to make it destination TV and a special occasion:

Ask me anything you want about Torchwood and I will totally answer or make something up! Appropriate types of questions include things like: "What's your favorite episode so far?" or "How do you feel about Owen?" but also "what does Jack do with that Hand?" and "how did Tosh and Owen break up?" and "why is Ianto so full of emo mainpain?" totally right on.

Spoilers through this week's ep ("Greeks Bearing Gifts") fine and dandy.

Comments

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

If Tosh's mind-reading thing had worked on Jack, what would she have heard?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Absolutely nothing; he's dead. His consciousness is being piped through him from the ether, like the FORCE.

Deeper probing might reveal the sounds of incantations and science experiments of the 51st century, when the Jack-chimera was created and then pushed out of linear existence into the ethereal vibration of the spheres. We'd hear some doctors muttering, some aliens muttering, and the sonic boom sound of a man being SHOVED THROUGH TIME.

[nerdcakes.livejournal.com]

torchwood: TV's version of fanfiction.net

Dude. This is Alarmingly True!

Yes. So, Owen! Unbearable wanker or loveable scamp?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Owen is one sexy wanker. He's an arrogant fuck, a doctor with an ego (see my userinfo for the interest: "the egos of doctors") who is used to everything coming to him easy like pie, because he's gorgeous and smart and seductive and a privileged white fellow.

No wonder he sought out a career in the paranormal; living life among normal folk was boring and too easy for the bloke, going from work to shag to home again and eating pasties in between.

On the other hand, he's a demon in the sack. And he's intuitive, and clever, and funny, and underneath his brash exterior he's just a big giant cynic who wishes the world were better than it was, but seriously doubts it.

Eat, drink, and be merry, says Owen, for tomorrow the aliens come and then we're just going to be FUCKED till eternity.

I think Owen/Gwen is a thing of beauty, as is residual Owen/Tosh, and probably Owen/everyone else. This is a boy who knows the meaning of entitlement. And doesn't necessarily know the meaning of the word "can't."

[ria-kukalaka.livejournal.com]

Are Owen and Gwen realise how unfar they're being and invite poor Tosh for a threesome? ;)

[graycastle.livejournal.com]

who else on the show should get creepy random powers, and what creepy random powers should they get?

ps omg what does jack do with that hand?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

I want Ianto to get HUGE. Maybe 30 feet tall. With no other particular skills, except the awkward and attractive demeanor of a man who's spent his life unnoticed and is now GIGANTIC.

He'd hate it, but then he'd discover he could save wee kittens from trees and so on, and he could also stand up to Jack, at least somewhat, and finally confess his deep and abiding lust for the 'Merican Cap'n.

The bigness'll wear off in like six weeks, but the new, improved, GIANT Ianto spirit will remain until the end of his days.

.
You don't have clearance for the hand info...yet.

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

Good god, this is cutest thing I have read in weeks. I totally want a GIANT Ianto who saves kittens from trees and stands up to Jack and all of that. *has happy bunnies of happiness*

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

YES. YES. YES.

Also, he puts Jack in his pocket, which is awkward.

[rebism.livejournal.com]

My question: What is Torchwood?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Torchwood is an underground agency, founded by Queen Victoria, and put to the task of investigating and covering up for alien encounters on Earth.

Why else do you think we never hear clear verification of UFO sightings and alien abduction stories? Torchwood's the one telling us "it was just a weather balloon" and then carting the tech off to their lab for research/reverse-engineering.

Torchwood 1 got sucked into a void, something terrible happened to Torchwood 2, and Torchwood 3 is in Cardiff, Wales, hotbed of alien activity. Torchwood 4, not unlike Babylon 4, came unstuck in time and disappeared. It'll probably turn up somewhere.

Also, everyone in Torchwood is bisexual, for convenience and safety.

[copracat]

Also, everyone in Torchwood is bisexual, for convenience and safety.

Safety. Yes.

[pene.livejournal.com]

Plus, oddly, Torchwood is an acronym for Doctor Who. I was thinking it was a stupid name for a sci-fi show.

Aren't you impressed with my knowledge, girls? I'm impressed.

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

I am TOO. It is totally an anagram. And while we're at it, also a spin-off.

[pene.livejournal.com]

HEE! It's sad when you try to impress people and FAIL MISERABLY

xx

[mydwynter.livejournal.com]

And the word itself is a vestige of secrecy, being what the early Doctor Who tapes were labeled to prevent them from being nicked.

Layer upon layer, it is.

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

When did (Captain) Jack Harkness stop shagging everything in sight? And, because I'm greedy and thus deserve an extra-Q&A, how on earth did they explain the death of the pizzagirl to their favourite pizzeria (and do they still deliver)?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Jack stopped when he found the Hand, and his life took on a whole new meaning. While before he was used to the flirting and shagging and seducing and leaving that accompanies the lifestyle of an immortal time-traveller -- NOW he thinks there might be the possibility of real love. With another timeless individual. That's enough to make any man rethink his macking strategy.

In other news, Ianto sent a note of condolence to the pizza shop, in Her Majesty's name, explaining that poor Cleolinda was caught in the crossfire during a very important police bust. Her Majesty, by way of Ianto, gave the pizza shop a ten thousand pound payoff, and gave Cleolinda's family another ten grand for their loss. The pizzaria remains Torchwood's favorite take-away and they still deliver, but tend to want a bigger tip.

[sian-shoe.livejournal.com]

Do you think Gwen is a sympathetic character to the audience?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

I think Rhys is a sympathetic character to the audience...I think Gwen's a little confused. My guess is in the early days she was set to be our Rose Tyler, but then Mr. Sexy Ratjam came along and Torchwood corrupted Gwen fullstop.

That, and everyone in Torchwood, with the exception of Jack, feels like a poser in her own right, and feels awkward and scared and confused. Last week, Tosh was our sympathetic character, and the week before it was probably Ianto, and some Owen.

I like to see it as the show where lots of brilliant but crazy people risk their lives because they want to be close to Captain Jack. And who wouldn't?

[bytheseaside.livejournal.com]

Mr. Sexy Ratjam

That just about had me spitting tea on my keyboard!

[lei-che-sogna.livejournal.com]

ianto. what's up with that?
do you think he writes angsty poetry and posts it in his myspace?
and are there really rats in his stomach?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Ianto doesn't have time for poetry, and plus it's frivolous. Ianto does his job, without fanfare, does everyone else's job, without fanfare, and simply wants someone to love. He's used to being the protector, the nanny, the babysitter, and at the end of the day, the poor boy just wants someone to take care of him a little. Unfortunately, the objects of his affection tend to be either megalomaniacal and distracted immortal Time Agents (thus requiring Ianto's babysitting, attending, coffee-making, lying, covering up, facilitating, and organizational skills) or half-dead Cyberwomen (thus requiring babysitting, attending, lying, covering up, and mechanical maintenance).

At the end of the day he goes home, brushes his teeth, has a single beer while watching sport, sets his alarm, calls his mum, and goes to bed.

Nobody at Torchwood even knows he's got two PhDs, in Philosophy and Modern Comparative Literature.

[grapefruitzzz.livejournal.com]

Who does Myfanwy the pterodactyl fancy?

[archanas247.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh, I have a question!

If the car!sex was only the second time Gwen and Owen did the dirty, does that mean that Gwen was able to keep her hands off Owen's body after shagging (ONLY ONCE!) before?

[coffeegirl18.livejournal.com]

Yeah I was like didn't they shag at least twice, I mean previous to the window scene after the window scene and then they mentions the car!sex. I think RTD hates numbers though since the dates are all super screwed uo to begin with.

Also, their big black SUV says TORCHWOOD on it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_abulafia/]

Okay, how about this: How does "Torchwood" remain secret from the public, (so secret that you have to "dig really deep" even to find information about it on the internet)? We know that people from Torchwood regularly announce themselves as Torchwood officers to the local police, and that the local police are prepared to recognize and defer to their authority.

[winterpolaris.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who wants to see a TW/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover just so I can see some Captain Jack-squared action?

[projectjulie.livejournal.com]

I still haven't watched it! I'm saving it for _plasticity_, my genre TV buddy. but lynne taught me a new game today, called "stuck, fuck, or chuck" -- so let's play! I will pick three characters mentioned above at random: owen, captain jack, lando. and you have to assign them to the following roles:

fuck: you will madly shag said person, in a manner of your own choosing, but only for ONE NIGHT
stuck: you will marry said person and spend the rest of your life with him, but it will be a sexless marriage
chuck: this person goes away