SGA outtake
Nov. 20th, 2005 12:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabHere is something that is not going in the SGA story I'm writing right now:
*
"Hey, now, wait," Rodney says. He's so aware that he's hard but this can only end one way next time he and John meet with their shirts on. "Listen. I understand that you're...fascinated. Interested. So many are. And, yes, I have been told that I'm a good lay, a great lay, the best lay on my campus if you asked the girls in the downstairs carrels at the science library, but I --" He is going to be honest. John has seen his doughy arms, his fleshy underbelly, and hasn't recoiled, hasn't said, "I feel like in the interest of our professional relationship, we should just be friends" like some others. Rodney's going to be honest, and then he won't be in charge anymore, won't be the brilliant one anymore and more vulnerable than he has ever been, ever in his life.
"I haven't ever actually slept with a man. Another man. Besides myself, I mean. I've never actually slept with a man."
John twigs to this and looks up. Rodney's eyes are scary blue.
"I was, you know. In love with one once," Rodney says. "Love, you know, the real deal with the drinking and the not sleeping and the advanced degrees in Combinatrics. But I know, I mean, I've read a *lot,* and I've been around and talked to people and I've had the opportunity to --" He stops. John is in charge. Rather, they are on equal footing, because John has never been with a man before either, but that puts John in charge, because Rodney's not good with equals.
John laughs, because of course Rodney's read books, and he laughs because he can't imagine how this matters. "That's okay," he says. "Everything pretty much goes where you think it does. I'll hold your hand through the hard parts."
Rodney rolls back on the pillow and slaps his hand across his eyes. "Just -- I need a minute, okay?"
"Okay," says John. The covers have gotten tangled around Rodney's hips, and John reaches over to untangle them but Rodney smacks him away.
"I said I need a minute."
Rodney's flat on his back, hand over his eyes. If he were another man John would think he was nervous, maybe having second thoughts. But this is Rodney, and Rodney doesn't have second thoughts, and Rodney kissed him first and took his shirt off. "Tell me about the, um, man-person you were in love with?" John attempts.
"Not a chance," says Rodney, under his arm and his enormous watch. Rodney's forearm is tanned, mysteriously, the top browner than the white-pale underside. His hair is almost reddish. At times and when he least expects it, John has caught himself thinking about Rodney under his clothes. Rodney has a blue shirt that shows off his barrel chest, and John has considered laying a palm flat in the middle just for the chance to feel Rodney's heart beat.
*
Yeah, way to harsh on my own buzz, there.
*
"Hey, now, wait," Rodney says. He's so aware that he's hard but this can only end one way next time he and John meet with their shirts on. "Listen. I understand that you're...fascinated. Interested. So many are. And, yes, I have been told that I'm a good lay, a great lay, the best lay on my campus if you asked the girls in the downstairs carrels at the science library, but I --" He is going to be honest. John has seen his doughy arms, his fleshy underbelly, and hasn't recoiled, hasn't said, "I feel like in the interest of our professional relationship, we should just be friends" like some others. Rodney's going to be honest, and then he won't be in charge anymore, won't be the brilliant one anymore and more vulnerable than he has ever been, ever in his life.
"I haven't ever actually slept with a man. Another man. Besides myself, I mean. I've never actually slept with a man."
John twigs to this and looks up. Rodney's eyes are scary blue.
"I was, you know. In love with one once," Rodney says. "Love, you know, the real deal with the drinking and the not sleeping and the advanced degrees in Combinatrics. But I know, I mean, I've read a *lot,* and I've been around and talked to people and I've had the opportunity to --" He stops. John is in charge. Rather, they are on equal footing, because John has never been with a man before either, but that puts John in charge, because Rodney's not good with equals.
John laughs, because of course Rodney's read books, and he laughs because he can't imagine how this matters. "That's okay," he says. "Everything pretty much goes where you think it does. I'll hold your hand through the hard parts."
Rodney rolls back on the pillow and slaps his hand across his eyes. "Just -- I need a minute, okay?"
"Okay," says John. The covers have gotten tangled around Rodney's hips, and John reaches over to untangle them but Rodney smacks him away.
"I said I need a minute."
Rodney's flat on his back, hand over his eyes. If he were another man John would think he was nervous, maybe having second thoughts. But this is Rodney, and Rodney doesn't have second thoughts, and Rodney kissed him first and took his shirt off. "Tell me about the, um, man-person you were in love with?" John attempts.
"Not a chance," says Rodney, under his arm and his enormous watch. Rodney's forearm is tanned, mysteriously, the top browner than the white-pale underside. His hair is almost reddish. At times and when he least expects it, John has caught himself thinking about Rodney under his clothes. Rodney has a blue shirt that shows off his barrel chest, and John has considered laying a palm flat in the middle just for the chance to feel Rodney's heart beat.
*
Yeah, way to harsh on my own buzz, there.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 10:03 am (UTC)oooo, you had me in the palm of your hand up until there, and then I was like, wouldn't that be a bit creepy because it's just a little too similar to the Wraith eating lives and wouldn't John have interesting nightmares about that stuff, especially if this is set after Conversion? o.0
no subject
Date: 2005-11-21 03:10 am (UTC)Ah, so many reasons why I wash my hands of this! (and give it, whole cloth, to
no subject
Date: 2005-11-22 10:19 pm (UTC)