Robin's in the metaphysical section

[sab]

ropo, the Bee Girl, when can we see you?

I think I left my phone at the video store. If it's not there tomorrow I'm going to be quite put out.

We didn't have internet for about a week. Did you miss us? Fistfight with Comcast later and here we are. And runpunkrun wrote an XF story and it's beautiful and so on, but that's for later.

Foremost: _maayan's coming! I was at MW's when she called and you shoulda seen me with the screaming and the running and the jumping on stuff, and MW saying "you don't have to shout, you're on a telephone, it's not like you're trying to get her to hear you across the Atlantic" but I didn't care and I shouted anyhow, because MAAYAN'S coming HERE to be with ME!

Second, I'm taking call-in advice on the following matter: what does one do when one's significant other decides that he hates one whenever one is not around? So one lives in a perpetual state of being hated most of the time? I want to make it better. What I need is a job.

what I need is a JOB.

And yes, there's the other thing, the thing that only ptpatricia knows and it'll stay that way, but anyway, I got a highly cute haircut.

It's 2 something and I need to go to sleep, but I want to finish beta for runpunk and it's hard to sleep when I'm being hated from five miles away.

On the other hand, Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

I'm going to SF in October, but wearemany won't be there when I'm there. And I want to see her, Scarecrow, I think I miss you most of all.

The Man Who Cried is a terrible movie with an all-star cast. Oscar and Lucinda is a fantastic movie, and somehow I missed it the first time around, but it's okay, I got it now.

I don't expect MW to love me unconditionally. I'm in the unenviable position of loving him unconditionally. Conditions are frustrating things. But he took me to the ballgame twice this week, and we ate hotdogs and jeered at the pitchers, and so that's good enough, you know, for now, anyway.

qowf, call us, won't you? On PTP's phone, on the off chance mine never returns from the video store.

Comments

[ropo.livejournal.com]

I am around and can be seen... call me. I would love to meet the alleged ptpatricia, who I have only seen via phone.

And I need a cute haircut. And I would also like to see _maayan, who is very glamorous and unlike me.

[-maayan.livejournal.com]

"Yes, yes. Very glamorous," says she, packing five years of her life in boxes, wearing the latest chic in old sweats and tastefully stained t-shirts.

I would also like to see everyone.

[cofax7]

Oh, please. You are, indeed, entirely glamorous. Even when we made you walk from Leicester Square to Clerkenwell (or wherever it was we finally caught a cab). Even when you had to wear the same clothes for three days. Somehow you were glamorous while we were merely... grubby.

It's a metaphysical thing. Possibly associated with being French, but I think it merits further study. *g*

[qowf.livejournal.com]

I'll call later today when you're awake and possibly both in the same room.

This whole hating thing from five miles away would get old quick. What's up with that? Do I still have to come out there and kick his ass?

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Yes, a little ass-kicking is just what the doctor ordered. *g* Love you.

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

*cracks up*

I was wondering when you were going to mention M. coming stateside. Oh, frabjous day.

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Are you coming down for the thing? I wanna meet you. And. You should kidnap runpunkrun and make her come with. Frabjous day INDEED.

[cofax7]

You should meet Shaye. She's really cute, and has great hair. You'd like her hair.

*grins*

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

Hm. It's possible. Flights are affordable. I mean, I wouldn't come down for the thing, because...well, that's not something I want to subject myself to. But Connie was talking about coming down & hanging in the hotel bar for a bit.

Hm. Thinking about it. (Shall I stash Punk in my luggage?)

[-maayan.livejournal.com]

Oh! I might have to wear a disguise at Burbank. I have just been warned (via my blog) to stay away from the con, because the Scaper community doesn't want me anymore.

My heart's broken. It really is.

You have to get me a wig, and big dark glasses. And a bodyguard. Maybe Ricky will loan me a mambo shirt.

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

We'll dress you up. You can be FiFi the Cowgirl.

[(Anonymous)]

. . . FiFi the Cowgirl.

/me wipes Pinot spew off the monitor

You have to get me a wig, and big dark glasses.

You've already Got those! I have pictures to prove it!

Maybe Ricky will loan me a mambo shirt.

Sure, then you'd be truly glamorous... but on the other hand, you probably wouldn't be allowed to smoke in it.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, and by the way, sab dolling, might I just remind you: phone-tag-wise, You're It.

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Criminy, it is so. I'll call you this week.

[(Anonymous)]

Liar.

[cofax7]

I'm going to SF in October,

You told me this already, yes? Tell me when, again?

I shall have you over, and laurashapiro and hesychasm as well. It'll be a big old thing. Or a small thing. Or we'll meet. Anyway.

When?

[pene.livejournal.com]

you can love unconditionally and there can still be things that are hard to deal with. or impossible. (I tend not to believe in unconditional love. because I love for who you are, I mean there are real live characteristics in that. but I do believe in love that is beyond anything else. and it's possible that he can.)

you are foiled, sweet, by your own charisma. because when you're away you're not there. and it's hard to feel the love.

but love is all about being generous in absence and presence and knowing the best and most beautiful. (which is probably to say that I didn't love you well, though I knew all the best. but that's an aside because this is him) he likely started this time with some dark parts of you in his head because it was 1999 and things were different and hard.

you are better than you think you are. (you are also worse than you think you are. it's true of everyone.) but you are better than you think, I thought.

hmmm. I get confused because of Maria.

xoxo

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks. We're working on it. It's just, you know, with the crying and the frustration. Then again, what else is new? *g*

[se-parsons.livejournal.com]

If he's hating you whenever you leave the room, there is some sort of internal thing in him that is broken. Because he's not really hating YOU, he's hating the vision of "the woman I'm with" and whatever you represent to him.

That's some fucked up shit right there.

I have been down this road. It didn't work exactly like this, but I was "with" a guy who couldn't deal with human beings as they actually were. He dealt with the vision he had in his head of what they were supposed to be like and tried to fit everyone he knew into that vision.

Often this was deceptively like reality because we were much like his ideals. Often it was wildly divergent.

It has led to the destruction of every one of his relationships, because the familiar eventually gets hated for not fitting the ideal and the new is fitted into the vision in his head of "how things are supposed to be" as the exemplar of the ideal.

I would be really worried about this. I would have a backup and escape plan no matter how unconditionally I loved him. You have to be prepared to get out intact, because he's not really dealing with YOU, but with his own inner crap.

I remember you talking about this from before. I don't think I'm projecting, here. I think you've found another one like the one I knew.

[iamsab.livejournal.com]

That's what I was most afraid of. He promises it's not true, and I believe him.

[se-parsons.livejournal.com]

He believes it's not true, and that's the sad part. But you can see it through the actions.

A lot of times people aren't really in touch with themselves, or they hide parts of themselves from themselves because they are too hard to deal with.

The junk they give you is symptomatic of this inner struggle to hide stuff from themselves.

There is no fixing this person with your love, ok? The only one who can fix him is him. And you are just putting yourself in a position to take shit off him and be made depressed by the way he takes out his frustration on you.

This is not a good situation to be in. Trust me. When I was around someone like this I got suicidally depressed. I had a lot of other things making me depressed at the time - grad school, unemployment, etc. But he added the self-image crushing mental abuse to top it off was what sent me over the edge. It was all this - I don't love you because you're not worthy of my love crap. I think you're probably getting, I'm not sure if I really love you unless you're in the room reminding me of how you are. That's not as bad. But it's from the same messed-up place inside the other person. Nothing to do with you.

That's hard to see when you're THERE in the situation.

I am just really worried for you.